School Fun!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY : Me!

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, sir.
TEACHER: And didn't i promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, sir,but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep yours.

HAROLD : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD : Good, because I didn't do my homework.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." That's what I did.

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
DON : I hope you didn't either.

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE : Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN : I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say "I am."
ELLEN : All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: Max, use "defeat," "defence" and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX : The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail.

TEACHER: Toby, what are you doing under your desk?
TOBY : Didn't you tell us to read Dr.Jekyll and Hyde (hide)?

The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program. "There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?" a voice shouted, "Okay---you start."

TEACHER : If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT : One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.

TEACHERS : If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!